You need to go shoe shopping when.....

1. When at an event, you notice the host whispering to the caterer about rotten onion dip in the general area you are standing.
2. It would be more comfortable to tie concrete cinder blocks thinly coated in fiberglass and heated to a steamy temperature of 220 degrees to your feet than put your old shoes back on.
3. You’ve noticed lately you’ve developed a limp.
4. Your worn shoes resemble “Grandpa Joe’s Famous Deer Jerky”.
5. When you flip the shoes over, old toenails fly out onto the floor.
6. You can easily entertain small children by making a puppet with your flopping outsoles.
7. You’ve forgotten what color they were when you bought them.
8. You look forward to a rain because you won’t need to wash your feet later that night.
9. The dog will no longer even go near your footwear, let alone put his mouth on them.
10. You are using permanent marker to color in your scuff marks.